How to End a Friendship – It’s Time, Cutting off a Friend
It’s never easy cutting off someone that you love and adore – especially when it’s a close friend. Well, I got a new question in my inbox, let’s see where this goes.
Okay, Dee. I’ve been friends with my bestie for 17 years. We’ve gone through major ups and downs together and I know she is my ride-or-die; however, recently things have changed. In the beginning of our friendship we both had a clear understanding of what we were going to do in the world – our future. And I’ve stuck to the plan and even with ups and downs I’ve consistently stayed on course. She on the other hand has not. She stopped moving all together. Not only did she stop moving, she tried to get me to stop moving, too.
I love her so much and I have tried to help her help herself for many years now and I’m financially and mentally exhausted. She has some really bad habits that are unhealthy, illegal, and unsafe for her, her family, me, and my family; so even being around her at times can be challenging.
Something in my mind is telling me it’s time to cut ties, however, I feel horrible about that idea. Guilty for doing so. Not only that – she knows my secrets, and I’m now a women of position, so I’m concerned about that as well. Finally, that’s my BESTIE!!! Dee! How do I breakup with my bestie?
Lonely BFF Bound – Atlanta, GA
First, I want to say THANK YOU for authentically sharing your thoughts and feelings as well as asking your question, and you can rest easy, because I got your back!
Now, Lonely BFF Bound, you’re not about to be no kinda ways lonley, but it’s okay to feel that way in this moment, because this moment too shall past.
And guess what?
This is a sure fire learning moment.
So, first things first.
With all of the Awesomeness that you are strewing to the world, we first have to change your name from Lonely BFF Bound to Abundant BFF Bound!
And I also want you to know that I applaud you for being so strong, for being able to see and acknowledge not only a problem within your relationship with your best friend, but also the feelings within yourself. AND, I applaud you for self-reflection and wanting to find peace in your space simply makes you awesome.
So let’s talk about Step One of the #FACTT Process – Form The Breakup!
You’ve decided to form a breakup with a Person (or the energy around a person) – specifically wanting to Redesign your feelings around how you feel about cutting off ties with your best friend.
Now, we can get into “the how” in a moment, but first, let me ask, “how open-minded would you be about trying an alternative way of perceiving your feelings around cutting ties with a person?”
Like, taking hurtful, disappointing, resentful and guilty feelings, repackaging them and the thoughts surrounding them, and repurposing them to work FOR YOU based on a new vision that you’ve created for yourself.
I’m not sure if it’s for you, but it’s a simple and therapeutic process to help further and develop yourself – while you’re on your journey – that new path of wherever success is taking you.
Which is why you have to BREAK UP with the energy around the person first!
Let me say this…
Two people can start out on the same path, but they may eventually veer off onto their own path along the way and that’s okay.
But honey, time, title and tenure don’t mean a thing (I talk about this in my upcoming book).
Just because someone has been in your life for a long extended amount of time, they hold the title “best friend”, or the position of best friend, does not mean they cannot be let go.
While you are on your journey you have to look out for you FIRST before you can even think about looking out for someone else. You also have a mission and a purpose and people depending on you to do all of the things that you’ve decided you will achieve in your lifetime – and you better not feel bad about that.
It’s your birthright and you’re not obligated to anyone but you.
It sounds like you’ve been constantly expanding and leveling up and your BFF has found their comfort zone which is no longer a zone you desire to be in.
Love your BFF, but from afar and shift those feelings by finding the benefit of what you’re doing for you and your family by cutting ties, but also what you’re doing for your BFF by cutting ties.
The space that you two will create will give both you and her an opportunity to make choices and decisions without each other, still carving out your own individual paths. Who knows…maybe in a few years, your paths will cross and be back in sync.
Life is an interesting thing.
And the cool thing is, when you let go, you actually open more doors. You’ll have many great experiences, meet new people and have an abundance of friendships for lifetimes to come!
So, CONGRATULATIONS on your breakup!
But not just any breakup.
It was the most Audacious Breakup EVER!!
The breakup of removing your guilty feelings, of breaking up with your toxic best friend.
You made a choice.
You chose to be different. To feel different.
It may not always be easy, but you can do it!
You Grow Girl!
Now, do me a favor and share this with someone who you know that will find it valuable. When I needed to perform the most Audacious Breakup Ever (and I do it often let me tell you), I use this
quick and easy #FACTT formula to help me navigate my breakup and redesign along the way.
It’s nothing super fancy, but it definitely helps me along this growth and transformation journey that I’m on and I want to help you too so…
It’s free, and I trust you will have MUCH success with implementing YOUR most AUDACIOUS Breakup EVER!